YOUR LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
Because I don’t really want to take the time or go to the expense
of making out my own will, or if I messed up my attempt to make a will,
I want the state to make a will for me. I understand and agree to the
following terms:
ARTICLE I
The Court should figure out who my spouse is and who my children are.
Please don’t take anyone’s word if they claim to be part
of my family. Make them prove their relationship to me.
ARTICLE II
I give one half (1/2) of all my property and possessions to my spouse
and the remaining one half (1/2) to my children.
ARTICLE III
I appoint my spouse, or if I am divorced, I appoint my ex-spouse, as
guardian to my children. I don’t trust my spouse or ex-spouse;
so as a safeguard, I require them to report to the Probate Court each
year and render a full accounting of how, why, when, and where they
have spent any money necessary for the care of my children.
ARTICLE IV
As a further safeguard, I direct the Probate Court to secure a performance
bond from my spouse, or whoever is acting as guardian to my children,
to guarantee that they exercise proper judgment in handling, investing
and spending my children’s money. Because there is money to burn
in my estate, I direct that the premium for the bond be paid out of
my estate funds. I realize that I could waive the requirement for the
bond, but I elect not to do so.
ARTICLE V
Even with the bond and accounting to the Probate Court, my children
shall have the right, when they reach the age of eighteen (18), to demand
a complete accounting from my spouse of all of the financial actions
that have taken place with their money since I died.
ARTICLE VI
Should my spouse remarry, the new guy or gal shall be entitled to one
half (1/2) of everything my spouse possesses. Should my children need
some of my possessions that go to the new guy or gal, that is basically
their problem. The property that goes to the new guy or gal is his/hers
to do with as he/she wishes, even to the exclusion of my children.
ARTICLE VII
Should my spouse predecease me or die while any of my children are minors,
I do not wish to exercise my right to nominate the guardian of my children.
Rather than nominating a guardian of my preference, I direct my relatives
and friends to get together and select a guardian by mutual agreement.
I direct the Probate Court to make the final selection. If the Court
wishes, it may appoint a stranger acceptable to the Court.
ARTICLE VIII
Under existing tax law, there are certain legitimate avenues open to
me to lower death taxes.
Since I prefer to have my money used for governmental purposes rather
than for the benefit of my spouse and children, I direct that no effort
be made to lower taxes, and the maximum amount exacted by law shall
be paid to the State and Federal governments to use in the manner they
see fit.
ARTICLE IX
In the event that all of my children predecease me, and my spouse survives
me and subsequently dies without a will, it is my desire that all of
my property of whatsoever nature which was passed to my spouse when
I died, shall pass to my spouse’s relatives and none shall pass
to my relatives.
ARTICLE X
Should the state be unable to locate my relatives during the statutory
period, I direct the state to liquidate my estate and add the money
received to the state treasury to be used for whatever purpose the state
sees fit.
ARTICLE XI
I know that I can name a person or institution to administer my estate,
but I elect to have the Probate Court make a selection for me. I also
know that if I name a person or institution to administer my estate,
I can waive the expense of a Performance Bond, but I do not desire to
make this waiver.
IN WITNESS THEREOF, I have read and fully understand the foregoing,
agree to the consequences described, and wish to make this document
public upon my death. I adopt this, by default, as my “Will.”
No Signature Required
No Witness Required
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